I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
