Define "chronic" masturbator.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
