I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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