Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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