i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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