I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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