i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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