were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
