It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
