Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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