He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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