She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
