Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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