she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
