if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
