just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
