I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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