six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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