I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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