My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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