who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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