Banned from zoo.
Again?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
