Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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