i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize