just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize