Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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