It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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