THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
