i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
