My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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