they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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