You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
