the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
