the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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