scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
