I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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