I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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