is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
