Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
