friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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