someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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