Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
