My pussy is not your playground.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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