You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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