3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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