Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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