At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
