Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
