I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
