i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
