My nipple is on Facebook.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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