i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
