the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
She said her name was "party"
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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