No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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