kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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