At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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