she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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