During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
They are going to name an STD after you.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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