Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
