Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
