im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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