you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Also, beer. Big fan.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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