He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
