dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
