I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
