Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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