last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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